A Return Of Heart.

I would like to start off by apologize by apologizing to my readers. When I was asked to join this fine staff I promised that I would drop the knowledge, that I was so eager to share, on a semi regular basis, and in that regard I have failed you. Over the past couple weeks I have selfishly neglected my obligations towards my work, and my readers. I will not try to make excuses, as valid as they maybe, because an excuse is still and excuse, and I still failed to fulfill my commitment, and for that I am most sorry. No, on to this weeks article.

For this article I will yet again try cover as many of the current issues, and topics in sports that you are constantly perplexed by. So first off, I would like to bring to attention the mustache of the young man at Georgetown University named Henry Sims. In the past couple years many have astutely pointed out how many recent G-Town products have been especially lack luster at the next level, but I think the trend many finally (barring the recent success of Greg Monroe (STUD)) with this young man. Although he may be a raw physical prospect at the moment from a game stand point he is no more than a full grown man in the  stache department. This young man is sporting a mustache that shows the most expert attention to detail. Honestly I can say its just an incredible stache. So from all us hear at BHMS I would like to say well done.

On that same note I would like to also like to pay respects to the new writer joining our staff. He is Latvian, and barely speaks any english, his name none other that Eric E-Breezy Brazil. glad to have you on board.

Then on to the next order of buisness, and that is none other than the NCAA tournament. Through out the years this month long sprint of a tournament is the most beautifully orchestrated shit show of all time. Although it still takes a month to complete the intensity level never drops, and the emotional connection never fades. For me the first buzzer beater, or over time saving shot,  and the last are all just as heart wrenching. For tournament I will not try to project what will happen, because I am clearly not that good at it, says my bracket. So instead I bring you the PumpAction Kraus guide to Sweet Sixteen 12.

1. To start it off I will talk about the lowest seed remaining in the tournament. It is said before the tournament the teams that are the hottest are always the most well suited, and Ohio is not exception to this.  Going in to their conference tournament Ohio was a middle third in the weak MAC conference, which is basically like finishing 1st in the PAC 12 this year. But then at the end of the year they caught fire, and have scorched through their sole 2 games to get to this point. although they have made it to this point it will not last much longer. Honestly just not a fan of the state of Ohio. Honestly just dont like the place, and I'm sorry I just dont care if that offends anyone. Ohio State fans suck, Cavs suck, no one cares about Cincinnati, and the rest is just country so what ever I will burn that bridge.

2. Now on to the second team that I will address, and that is the next highest seeded team NCST. Although long, long gone is the magic of the days of Jimmy V and Lorenzo Charles days, a new hope has sprung in Raleigh. Mark Gottfried leads an underrated squad loaded  with major D-1 talents in the front court. Let me say seeing this be the team from North Carolina be the farthest to go in the tournament, instead of those pricks at Chapel Hill, would be spectacular. Although I feel they can advance, the inconsistent play of CJ Leslie may come back to haunt them.

3. The next team that I have to pay homage to is none other than the University of Kentucky. This year, like everyother, Coach Cal has yet again brought in yet another batch of über talented athletic freaks. This years squad is lead by none other than the player of the year Anthony Davis. Not only does this mans pterodactyl-esq wingspan intimidate some of the most rugged menn, but he also has the added facial hair to disarm any. By this I refer to the only intimidating unibrow ever grown. This guy look like a mix of raw power, and caveman. Needless to say this team is also loaded with many other incredible players. All in all I would consider them my favorite to win it all.

4. Finally. U-Wisconsin Madison. Philosophically I can not say their is any team like UW. Not only do they insist on playing defense, they execute consistently at one of the highest rates in the country. Then on top of that they maintain a team that is able to shot the long ball all the way through the four spot. Then my most intense interest arises from the system of offense that they run. This offense revolves around many of the same ideals of the motion offense, which I have always had a great propensity for. It has been stated to such a point that PumpAction actually wrote a 5 page thesis on the effective implementation of said system. Although i feel there all around skill, and well coached-ness will take them far, I just do not see their sporadic offense carrying them.

5. Then on to yet another strange participant in the field, and that is none other than Louisville. After having one of the most inconsistent season this team has come back in most impressive style. This Biyambo-esq rise has lead to heights such as slaying Cincinnati in the Big East Tournament Finals. This team is deep, talented, and organized and honestly I think that they can go far

Finally on to the most important part of this article, and that is none other than Randy Moss. As many of you may have already heard this god has decided to bless us mere mortals with a year more of his insane football skills. Honestly I can not say that anything else in recent weeks has made me more excited that Moss returning, because it has been a long cold 12ish months since someone had truly take the top off the defense. At one point during the early to mid 2000s Randy Moss got so good at beating people deep that eventually teams just started hiring snipers to take him out once he got off the bus.

Although Mr. Moss has caused me many a heartache, playing for the vikings, he has also shown me much greater amounts of beauty. Starting at the tend age of 18 Randy had an electric 4 year career at Marshall where Chad Pennington had the honor of tossing him the ball. Throughout the years his ability to go up and snag the ball over any helpless defender has mystified everyone who has had the chance to see this man play. This man was so fast, strong and gifted, that even at the advanced age of 32 he was still burning Darrell Revis one handed, in the end zone. Now many punk ass haters will say that as great as he was he could have been better, and to all these people I say top him. First off one does not just magically become the most destructive force in the NFL just by god given talent, everyone has that in the NFL. For this higher standing he most likely had to put in the work unlike all you criticizing punks. This man rose to such a point that after a game in Green Bay where he pretended to moon the crowd he was fined 10k. At the time we all knew that this would be nothing more that a drop in to the bucket to him. In one on the most incredible interviews ever conceived not only does he reveal his preferred method of payment, which is none other than straight cash, of course. He also goes on to explain that next time he wants to celebrate he's just gonna wag his dick at every one, and let me tell you he probably will have earned the right.